Soooo, long time no see. As usual I might say.
It is actually amazing to thing back and realise how fast time passes.
It is now a little bit over a year since I stopped drinking alcohol I realised when I had my birthday the other day. I could think back on the last year and realise that I haven't been drinking much at all the last year and I am really proud of myself. *patting my own head*
As it now happens I have a new problem in front of me that also means mental growth for me. I know it will go well because I know myself and I know that this has to happen in order for me to be truly happy. When I think back of my time here in Japan I am so grateful that I got the chance to make this trip. It has made me stronger and if I had never met all the people I have met here, seen all the things that I've seen or been let into the Japanese culture like I have I would never have been able to make these changes. Thank you Japan, thanks to all of my friends here in Japan and everyone who has gone back or gone to a new place in life! You are all a part of this new My.
What I need now is to continue to cultivate the plants and seeds that I have in my mental garden and the future will be brighter than ever the past was.
The best is yet to come, smile big, live with passion.
So from a slightly spiritual My to all of you,
Happy Thanksgiving!
M
torsdag 25 november 2010
torsdag 17 juni 2010
finally (piercings)
Sooooo, last week, Friday, I FINALLY (about a exactly year later) changed my tongue-piercing from the first one that you use when the tong is swollen. My tongue had been swollen unusually long and I was worrying about it a lot. During autumn I stopped drinking alcohol completely to let it heal but I thought it was still swollen. For the last six months-ish I've been wondering if I should take it out or not cuz it was hurting a little bit now and again. Then a month ago I went with my friend Kyoko to get her a tongue-piercing too. Back at the same studio a year later I ask my piercer what I should do about my swollen tongue. I get the answer;
"It's not swollen, you should change the piercing"
So why it was hurting was because it was too long and because of that moving around.... Do you think I felt silly?
(HAHAHAHAHAHA! This is what happens when you postpone things and worry for nothing..)
While we are on the subject of piercing I come to think of my new work. That's right! I'm now a part-timer at a French restaurant about 5 minutes from my home. Yay me!
Why I came to think of this is that I have to take of my nose-piercing and all of the rings except one. Compared to the general public I'm a quiet pierced person. Some of the girls in my class haven't even pierced their ears cuz it's scary...? But if I compare to my piercer I'm a beginner, and if he compares to the people he met at the piercing-tattoo-convent he went to in US recently HE is nothing. There are so many different people in the world.. <3
Last Thursday I was a model for my 先輩 at their fashion-show (senpai, a word for people that are a year above you in school or has been working longer at the same work, you can also use if as a "senpai in life"). It's the second time that I'm on the runway now and I've done a couple of hair-modelling-gigs too. Next Monday I will be in a fashion/make-up photo shoot. It's a lot, a lot of fun and I hope to get more and more gigs from now on too.
Wells, I'll get back to my Starbucks-coffee and studies.
M
"It's not swollen, you should change the piercing"
So why it was hurting was because it was too long and because of that moving around.... Do you think I felt silly?
(HAHAHAHAHAHA! This is what happens when you postpone things and worry for nothing..)
While we are on the subject of piercing I come to think of my new work. That's right! I'm now a part-timer at a French restaurant about 5 minutes from my home. Yay me!
Why I came to think of this is that I have to take of my nose-piercing and all of the rings except one. Compared to the general public I'm a quiet pierced person. Some of the girls in my class haven't even pierced their ears cuz it's scary...? But if I compare to my piercer I'm a beginner, and if he compares to the people he met at the piercing-tattoo-convent he went to in US recently HE is nothing. There are so many different people in the world.. <3
Last Thursday I was a model for my 先輩 at their fashion-show (senpai, a word for people that are a year above you in school or has been working longer at the same work, you can also use if as a "senpai in life"). It's the second time that I'm on the runway now and I've done a couple of hair-modelling-gigs too. Next Monday I will be in a fashion/make-up photo shoot. It's a lot, a lot of fun and I hope to get more and more gigs from now on too.
Wells, I'll get back to my Starbucks-coffee and studies.
M
tisdag 8 juni 2010
a year
Two days ago it was a year ago that Sweden had it's National Day, so naturally there was one this year too. More importantly for me it marked a huuuge change in my life. That day it was a year ago that I met Hiro the first time. So so so much has changed in this year and it's for the better.
When I think back of who I was and where I was in life this time last year I'm so happy for everything that has changed. <3
In school we have finished our first skirt and my skirt is now the one of the first ones on sale in Obra, the store our school has. We are at the moment making a blouse and I'm really excited about how it's going to turn out!
At the same time we have finished the designs for the dresses we are going to make after the blouses and that we will use in our fashion show the 7/31. By intion from me we are now making the fashion show a lot bigger than planned by the teachers. (we were supposed to have it in the lounge of the school and only for people in the school) Now things are looking really good and I'm freakishly psyked about how the result will be.
Now breakfast!
M
When I think back of who I was and where I was in life this time last year I'm so happy for everything that has changed. <3
In school we have finished our first skirt and my skirt is now the one of the first ones on sale in Obra, the store our school has. We are at the moment making a blouse and I'm really excited about how it's going to turn out!
At the same time we have finished the designs for the dresses we are going to make after the blouses and that we will use in our fashion show the 7/31. By intion from me we are now making the fashion show a lot bigger than planned by the teachers. (we were supposed to have it in the lounge of the school and only for people in the school) Now things are looking really good and I'm freakishly psyked about how the result will be.
Now breakfast!
M
lördag 15 maj 2010
how?
How do people do it? How do they keep in touch with people regularly? How do you know which ones are worth hanging on to? How do you see which relations are the important ones, the ones that will change your life and stay for ever? And how do you see when it's time to give someone up?
Since I came to Japan I've gone through a massive life changer. I'm starting to realise how important people are to me. Things that I didn't know about before (read: things I didn't think about before). How do I show them all appreciation? How can I show that I have changed and that I care now? I don't know what is expected from me and it makes me scared. What makes me even more scared is all the relations I realised that I, ME, MY, just trough in the bin because I was, just that, SCARED! Scared of people seeing me, would they like me? Am I good enough?
My subconscious has been a people-repellant. And now I have to start all over again.
But even though it's hard like hell and I'm ashamed and just wanna crawl back in again sometimes it's all worth it. Every time that I get that positive response back from something positive that I do. Maybe just a smile.
Yeah, I've wasted time and threw away good people in the bin BUT. I'm 20 and I'm changing.
Forgive me my sins, dears friends and family
M
Since I came to Japan I've gone through a massive life changer. I'm starting to realise how important people are to me. Things that I didn't know about before (read: things I didn't think about before). How do I show them all appreciation? How can I show that I have changed and that I care now? I don't know what is expected from me and it makes me scared. What makes me even more scared is all the relations I realised that I, ME, MY, just trough in the bin because I was, just that, SCARED! Scared of people seeing me, would they like me? Am I good enough?
My subconscious has been a people-repellant. And now I have to start all over again.
But even though it's hard like hell and I'm ashamed and just wanna crawl back in again sometimes it's all worth it. Every time that I get that positive response back from something positive that I do. Maybe just a smile.
Yeah, I've wasted time and threw away good people in the bin BUT. I'm 20 and I'm changing.
Forgive me my sins, dears friends and family
M
måndag 3 maj 2010
karaoke
Tomorrow might be better but I'm gonna take my chance to boast about the weather today anyway; today 26 degrees, tomorrow 29! You can really feel that the summer is coming!
Even though it's getting really hot here I introduced Glögg (in English; mulled wine, a drink drunk a lot in Sweden during Christmas) to my friends at the moving-in-party. It seems the lovely drink that warms every Swedes heart at Christmas takes some getting used too.
Speaking of other things that are Swedish in Japan; me and Hiro went to karaoke yesterday and we found such splendid Swedish classics as E-TYPE! Haha! <3 I laughed a lot and I've just shown Angels Crying for Hiro. As a reaction I got but a frown. We also found The Hives, Mando Diao, Eskobar and Europe! I bet there is a lot more lovely titbits in there.
Once again to the breaches, oh, I meant the sun!
M
Even though it's getting really hot here I introduced Glögg (in English; mulled wine, a drink drunk a lot in Sweden during Christmas) to my friends at the moving-in-party. It seems the lovely drink that warms every Swedes heart at Christmas takes some getting used too.
Speaking of other things that are Swedish in Japan; me and Hiro went to karaoke yesterday and we found such splendid Swedish classics as E-TYPE! Haha! <3 I laughed a lot and I've just shown Angels Crying for Hiro. As a reaction I got but a frown. We also found The Hives, Mando Diao, Eskobar and Europe! I bet there is a lot more lovely titbits in there.
Once again to the breaches, oh, I meant the sun!
M
söndag 2 maj 2010
sunny in kyoto
It's been sunny for three days in a row now, WOHO!
Yesterday I met some of my friends from KICL at En-chan and Enya's moving in party (the girls are living together in an AWESOME 一戸建て - a real house with your own entrance and garden an the whole thing). It was really nice to hang out and go down to Sanjo by bike together later at night.
The other day I met Enya on my way back from lunch with Saki-chan and Maykol. At the same time some other people from KICL and some of my present classmates also walked by. It felt so incredibly weird, it was like being in-between two worlds. The old one with all of the friends and faces I've known for a year, studied with and laughed with (cuz really, there were never anything to cry about). And then the world that is mine now with my Japanese classmates that I will know for another two years. It was so clearly separated (mostly just separated with Shirakawa-dori which is nothing, a street in the North-East part of Kyoto. I see my old school every day from my new one) before and then and there the world's mixed and I was caught in-between.
Now for some more SUN!
M
Yesterday I met some of my friends from KICL at En-chan and Enya's moving in party (the girls are living together in an AWESOME 一戸建て - a real house with your own entrance and garden an the whole thing). It was really nice to hang out and go down to Sanjo by bike together later at night.
The other day I met Enya on my way back from lunch with Saki-chan and Maykol. At the same time some other people from KICL and some of my present classmates also walked by. It felt so incredibly weird, it was like being in-between two worlds. The old one with all of the friends and faces I've known for a year, studied with and laughed with (cuz really, there were never anything to cry about). And then the world that is mine now with my Japanese classmates that I will know for another two years. It was so clearly separated (mostly just separated with Shirakawa-dori which is nothing, a street in the North-East part of Kyoto. I see my old school every day from my new one) before and then and there the world's mixed and I was caught in-between.
Now for some more SUN!
M
måndag 26 april 2010
ZzZZzzz
Right now I'm really sleepy. I'm going to bed but not until I've studied some Buissnes manner.
School is really fun and it keeps me busy and occupied, but no too occupied. We have started a lot with drawing and preparing for the world outside school (could seem a little bit early but it's not, it's actually really good).
I'm getting more and more excited about Fashion and I'm also feeling more and more that I might just end up here in Fashion for a long time.
My Dad was here in Japan visiting me for not to long ago. It was so awesome. Dad and Gudrun get along very well with Hiro wich makes me so happy. We had so much fun and it was really sad to see them go. Well, I'll see them in a couple of months again!
That's it for now; study, study, study!
M
School is really fun and it keeps me busy and occupied, but no too occupied. We have started a lot with drawing and preparing for the world outside school (could seem a little bit early but it's not, it's actually really good).
I'm getting more and more excited about Fashion and I'm also feeling more and more that I might just end up here in Fashion for a long time.
My Dad was here in Japan visiting me for not to long ago. It was so awesome. Dad and Gudrun get along very well with Hiro wich makes me so happy. We had so much fun and it was really sad to see them go. Well, I'll see them in a couple of months again!
That's it for now; study, study, study!
M
tisdag 30 mars 2010
unexpected
Yesterday it snowed. In the end of march. In Japan. I don't think that many people actually expected that. And as they say in Japan, "When it snows at a time that no one expected it to, anything can happen". And it sure did, I had one of my weirdest experienses during all of my time here in Japan yesterday.
I was on time for meeting up with Hiro and Ayu but they were not so I decided to just pop in a bookstore with recycled books close by to look for more of Tove Janssons books about Mumin that I'm reading in Japanese right now. I ask a woman behind a big stack of books if they had any and she said no. Thereafter followed the usual conversation you get with Japanese people; oh, your Japanese is so good, how long have you been here? Oh, only one year, that's amazing. Where are you from? Oh, Sweden, I'd really like to go. By this time the only costumer, a short man in a blue suit with slightly curly hair who looked like he read a lot of books, in the store joined in the conversation. He asked a little about Sweden and then he started asking about these books that I was looking for and asked me if I knew where to find them. I answered yes, yes, that wont be a problem, you can find them anywhere at Tsutaya or Book off.
The man then told me to come with him to the nearest Book off and that he would buy them for me because he was rich. (I think that was meant as a joke) I insisted that it wasn't necessary but he insisted back. From now things all happened so fast that I didn't have time to think or really react. He went in a high speed along Sanjo and across the bridge to Sanjo Keihan, I tried to make a comment about how beautiful Kamogawa is when the cherry-blossoms are blooming, he barley answered but asked about Sweden instead. At Book off we found two books which he paid for and then also insisted on giving me the change (which was about 150 kr), I think I blushed like a clown and stuttered 優しい (kind) in lack of anything better to say (I still don't know what is appropriate in this kind of situation..). Well, that's how Japanese guys are, you have a Japanese boyfriend so you should know, is what he answered. I tried to offer him some あげ玉 (used for cooking) that I had just got from a restaurant. He declined and told me to give it to Hiro. Then he rushed of in the same high speed saying something about having to meet someone himself, waving but not looking back.
This is one of the stories I have of kind, kind, kind Japanese who do you favours and never ask anything back. And here I am, one year later, and I still don't even know what to say in return.
<3
Now; preparing for Maycol's welcome back party that also happens to be the first party at Hiro's and my place since I moved in!
M
I was on time for meeting up with Hiro and Ayu but they were not so I decided to just pop in a bookstore with recycled books close by to look for more of Tove Janssons books about Mumin that I'm reading in Japanese right now. I ask a woman behind a big stack of books if they had any and she said no. Thereafter followed the usual conversation you get with Japanese people; oh, your Japanese is so good, how long have you been here? Oh, only one year, that's amazing. Where are you from? Oh, Sweden, I'd really like to go. By this time the only costumer, a short man in a blue suit with slightly curly hair who looked like he read a lot of books, in the store joined in the conversation. He asked a little about Sweden and then he started asking about these books that I was looking for and asked me if I knew where to find them. I answered yes, yes, that wont be a problem, you can find them anywhere at Tsutaya or Book off.
The man then told me to come with him to the nearest Book off and that he would buy them for me because he was rich. (I think that was meant as a joke) I insisted that it wasn't necessary but he insisted back. From now things all happened so fast that I didn't have time to think or really react. He went in a high speed along Sanjo and across the bridge to Sanjo Keihan, I tried to make a comment about how beautiful Kamogawa is when the cherry-blossoms are blooming, he barley answered but asked about Sweden instead. At Book off we found two books which he paid for and then also insisted on giving me the change (which was about 150 kr), I think I blushed like a clown and stuttered 優しい (kind) in lack of anything better to say (I still don't know what is appropriate in this kind of situation..). Well, that's how Japanese guys are, you have a Japanese boyfriend so you should know, is what he answered. I tried to offer him some あげ玉 (used for cooking) that I had just got from a restaurant. He declined and told me to give it to Hiro. Then he rushed of in the same high speed saying something about having to meet someone himself, waving but not looking back.
This is one of the stories I have of kind, kind, kind Japanese who do you favours and never ask anything back. And here I am, one year later, and I still don't even know what to say in return.
<3
Now; preparing for Maycol's welcome back party that also happens to be the first party at Hiro's and my place since I moved in!
M
söndag 21 mars 2010
welcome back
Came back recently after my and Hiro's trip to Yanagawa, his hometown to see his family, dog and just have a little break from city life.
I love Yanagawa, it suits me very well, it reminds me of visiting Dad's summerhouse in Resmo, Öland (Sweden hehe). The city (located in the Japanese countryside) let's me relax like I can't do in Kyoto. Just like Resmo let's me get away from everything in Stockholm. Thank lord for the countryside!
Hiro's family is so wonderful. It is so so so so nice to have a family away from home. It makes it easier to be away from my beloved family at home. And also in a way it makes me miss them more because in a way I realise what I miss. For example like I said earlier we went to a Japanese onsen with his family. We went there by car and when riding in the car I realised I missed something so simple and normal as going somewhere in a car with your family.
Recently I have started to miss Sweden more and more. I miss the beautiful, beautiful nature and the soul, The Swedish Soul, what it means to be Swedish and living in Sweden. The colours of Swedish summer with ice cream, strawberries, sun, the white flowers and the green fields. Faluröfärg med vita knutar och torvtak.
Japan is wonderful, I love so much about it that it has really become my second home but despite of the title of this blog, "I think I'm turning Japanese", Japan is really just my second home, my home away from home, I will never be Japanese fully. I love Sweden. There, I said it! I LOVE SWEDEN!
SWEDEN, I FUCKING LOVE YOU, YOU ARE MY HOME!
One of the things I love about Sweden is that we generally count people as Swedish if they are born in Sweden or lived in Sweden for a while and speak the Swedish language. Here in Japan you will have to fight and fight with blood sweat and tears to at all stay IN the country and as long as you don't have at least one Japanese parent (you are considered Japanese even if you were born abroad with Japanese parents) you will won't be recognised as a Japanese. I feel it has to do with the face. I'm white therefore obviously not Japanese. They are not used to foreigners yet since the country has been closed for foreigner for so long. In Sweden we have so many people from different cultures and countries and they are all Swedish.
I'm also starting to understand why foreigners in Sweden are fighting to be able to perform their own cultural traditions when in the country. Why do I say that? Because my new school will go on until the 26th of December this year. 26th?! What about my CHRISTMAS?! It's insane. Even if I don't consider myself Christian and never have, Christmas means so much to me. It's not about Jesus, it's about being together with my family and showing love and appreciation on this day every year.
(Dear readers, don't fret, I will solve this problem, I am going to fight for my right to be with my family for Christmas, hurray!)
Do not mistake this entry as just a homage to Sweden and a denial of what is actually becoming Japanese inside of me (because there are those parts too, I'm making the perfect person out of myself here with a little bit of Sweden and a little bit of Japan). This is merely thoughts and ramblings from a foreigner with half her heart somewhere where she is not.
So now I will end this rambling and go listen to Kulturnytt från SR.
Good night to you all, with love,
M
I love Yanagawa, it suits me very well, it reminds me of visiting Dad's summerhouse in Resmo, Öland (Sweden hehe). The city (located in the Japanese countryside) let's me relax like I can't do in Kyoto. Just like Resmo let's me get away from everything in Stockholm. Thank lord for the countryside!
Hiro's family is so wonderful. It is so so so so nice to have a family away from home. It makes it easier to be away from my beloved family at home. And also in a way it makes me miss them more because in a way I realise what I miss. For example like I said earlier we went to a Japanese onsen with his family. We went there by car and when riding in the car I realised I missed something so simple and normal as going somewhere in a car with your family.
Recently I have started to miss Sweden more and more. I miss the beautiful, beautiful nature and the soul, The Swedish Soul, what it means to be Swedish and living in Sweden. The colours of Swedish summer with ice cream, strawberries, sun, the white flowers and the green fields. Faluröfärg med vita knutar och torvtak.
Japan is wonderful, I love so much about it that it has really become my second home but despite of the title of this blog, "I think I'm turning Japanese", Japan is really just my second home, my home away from home, I will never be Japanese fully. I love Sweden. There, I said it! I LOVE SWEDEN!
SWEDEN, I FUCKING LOVE YOU, YOU ARE MY HOME!
One of the things I love about Sweden is that we generally count people as Swedish if they are born in Sweden or lived in Sweden for a while and speak the Swedish language. Here in Japan you will have to fight and fight with blood sweat and tears to at all stay IN the country and as long as you don't have at least one Japanese parent (you are considered Japanese even if you were born abroad with Japanese parents) you will won't be recognised as a Japanese. I feel it has to do with the face. I'm white therefore obviously not Japanese. They are not used to foreigners yet since the country has been closed for foreigner for so long. In Sweden we have so many people from different cultures and countries and they are all Swedish.
I'm also starting to understand why foreigners in Sweden are fighting to be able to perform their own cultural traditions when in the country. Why do I say that? Because my new school will go on until the 26th of December this year. 26th?! What about my CHRISTMAS?! It's insane. Even if I don't consider myself Christian and never have, Christmas means so much to me. It's not about Jesus, it's about being together with my family and showing love and appreciation on this day every year.
(Dear readers, don't fret, I will solve this problem, I am going to fight for my right to be with my family for Christmas, hurray!)
Do not mistake this entry as just a homage to Sweden and a denial of what is actually becoming Japanese inside of me (because there are those parts too, I'm making the perfect person out of myself here with a little bit of Sweden and a little bit of Japan). This is merely thoughts and ramblings from a foreigner with half her heart somewhere where she is not.
So now I will end this rambling and go listen to Kulturnytt från SR.
Good night to you all, with love,
M
torsdag 11 mars 2010
春休み, Springbreak, Vårlov
Dear readers, my last tests are finished and since last Saturday I have 春休み, spring break. Even so, I can't relax like you would like to. I even realised the other day when I tried to relax like it was a holiday and do nothing at all really that I can't. I know of all the things I have to do even though it's spring break and I felt reallt bad for not doing it because the things I have to do actually keep me as busy as if it was still school. There is a lot to do but it's all progressing, if not smoothly then at least progressing so I feel ok anyway. Wish me luck everyone!
In less than a month my dear dear Dad and Gudrun comes to visit me! I'm so so happy, and so is Hiro. We are planning what we are gonna do together, where we are gonna go, what they have to try to eat and so on.
Next on the schedule though is to go to Fukuoka to see Hiro's parents and go with them to a onsen, which will be my first time (shame on me for waiting this long with something so crucial to Japanese culture). Fy, fy!
Wells, wells, now to breakfast!
M
In less than a month my dear dear Dad and Gudrun comes to visit me! I'm so so happy, and so is Hiro. We are planning what we are gonna do together, where we are gonna go, what they have to try to eat and so on.
Next on the schedule though is to go to Fukuoka to see Hiro's parents and go with them to a onsen, which will be my first time (shame on me for waiting this long with something so crucial to Japanese culture). Fy, fy!
Wells, wells, now to breakfast!
M
måndag 1 mars 2010
it all starts with a lullaby
Soooo. Now I'm in the second day of four of the last tests in school. It feels good and bad. It's been a year and it's all gone so quickly, I don't want it to end just jet. This time, here in this school and in Kyoto has been sooo good and I've met so much lovely people and excperienced so much here. I'm just so happy that I wont have to leave Kyoto at least. These next two years here in Kyoto will be just as awesome, I know it. What I don't know is what people I will meet. I'm looking forward to it!
I'll just continue with what I was doing,
over and out.
M
I'll just continue with what I was doing,
over and out.
M
onsdag 24 februari 2010
the return of scent
The last two days have been wonderful weather. Going from was never really winter (for someone from Sweden) here in Japan, it has now become the equivalent of late spring. Today we had our first lunch outside in the basking sun and I had to take of several layers of clothes because it was to hot. It's still cold during evening and so on but still. WTF?! It's not even march!
With the heat comes the flowers and the bees and also, the smells! It's so wonderful, it feels like waking up from a long cold were you couldn't smell anything. GO GO SMELL!
Over and out (back to studys for the laaaaast tests in this school and also sending a e-mail to CSN about my new school... wohoo...?)
M
With the heat comes the flowers and the bees and also, the smells! It's so wonderful, it feels like waking up from a long cold were you couldn't smell anything. GO GO SMELL!
Over and out (back to studys for the laaaaast tests in this school and also sending a e-mail to CSN about my new school... wohoo...?)
M
tisdag 16 februari 2010
many turns
Good afternoon!
After many turns and ups and downs and if's and so forth I decided that I will live with Hiro. The Loveshack will therefore no longer have the same amount of awesomeness but there was no choice.
At the moment me and Hiro are moving around things and organizing to fit two people and all of our things. Friday we will have guests. Hiro's parents, his sister and niece are coming to Kyoto. We are looking forward to it a great deal.
This weekend our friend Toshi propsed to our friend Annika. It was reeeeally beautiful and she said yes. So she'll be staying here in Japan and get married to the man of her dreams!
Over and out for now!
M
After many turns and ups and downs and if's and so forth I decided that I will live with Hiro. The Loveshack will therefore no longer have the same amount of awesomeness but there was no choice.
At the moment me and Hiro are moving around things and organizing to fit two people and all of our things. Friday we will have guests. Hiro's parents, his sister and niece are coming to Kyoto. We are looking forward to it a great deal.
This weekend our friend Toshi propsed to our friend Annika. It was reeeeally beautiful and she said yes. So she'll be staying here in Japan and get married to the man of her dreams!
Over and out for now!
M
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