how?

How do people do it? How do they keep in touch with people regularly? How do you know which ones are worth hanging on to? How do you see which relations are the important ones, the ones that will change your life and stay for ever? And how do you see when it's time to give someone up?

Since I came to Japan I've gone through a massive life changer. I'm starting to realise how important people are to me. Things that I didn't know about before (read: things I didn't think about before). How do I show them all appreciation? How can I show that I have changed and that I care now? I don't know what is expected from me and it makes me scared. What makes me even more scared is all the relations I realised that I, ME, MY, just trough in the bin because I was, just that, SCARED! Scared of people seeing me, would they like me? Am I good enough?
My subconscious has been a people-repellant. And now I have to start all over again.

But even though it's hard like hell and I'm ashamed and just wanna crawl back in again sometimes it's all worth it. Every time that I get that positive response back from something positive that I do. Maybe just a smile.

Yeah, I've wasted time and threw away good people in the bin BUT. I'm 20 and I'm changing.


Forgive me my sins, dears friends and family
M

karaoke

Tomorrow might be better but I'm gonna take my chance to boast about the weather today anyway; today 26 degrees, tomorrow 29! You can really feel that the summer is coming!

Even though it's getting really hot here I introduced Glögg (in English; mulled wine, a drink drunk a lot in Sweden during Christmas) to my friends at the moving-in-party. It seems the lovely drink that warms every Swedes heart at Christmas takes some getting used too.

Speaking of other things that are Swedish in Japan; me and Hiro went to karaoke yesterday and we found such splendid Swedish classics as E-TYPE! Haha! <3 I laughed a lot and I've just shown Angels Crying for Hiro. As a reaction I got but a frown. We also found The Hives, Mando Diao, Eskobar and Europe! I bet there is a lot more lovely titbits in there.


Once again to the breaches, oh, I meant the sun!
M

sunny in kyoto

It's been sunny for three days in a row now, WOHO!
Yesterday I met some of my friends from KICL at En-chan and Enya's moving in party (the girls are living together in an AWESOME 一戸建て - a real house with your own entrance and garden an the whole thing). It was really nice to hang out and go down to Sanjo by bike together later at night.

The other day I met Enya on my way back from lunch with Saki-chan and Maykol. At the same time some other people from KICL and some of my present classmates also walked by. It felt so incredibly weird, it was like being in-between two worlds. The old one with all of the friends and faces I've known for a year, studied with and laughed with (cuz really, there were never anything to cry about). And then the world that is mine now with my Japanese classmates that I will know for another two years. It was so clearly separated (mostly just separated with Shirakawa-dori which is nothing, a street in the North-East part of Kyoto. I see my old school every day from my new one) before and then and there the world's mixed and I was caught in-between.


Now for some more SUN!
M